Sometimes, first dates make the most confident men crumble. You might be sharp at work, funny in social situations and otherwise completely comfortable in normal life. Then, out of nowhere, start overthinking your drink order, outfit choice and haircut just because you’re sitting with someone attractive.

That’s exactly why we reached out to someone with more first date experience than most. Violet is one of many VIP escorts in London, and she’s an expert in combating first date nerves. We asked her for 5 of her best first date tips that you can use next time you need them.

This isn’t about learning lines or faking charm; it’s about mindset shifts that will help you look at first dates in a more positive and confident light.

Choose The Right Venue

Too often, people choose venues because they look good online, only to spend the evening shouting over music, forcing down food they don’t actually like or watching their date try to get comfortable on a bar stool designed by someone with a grudge.

Can you hear each other? Is there enough atmosphere without having to compete with it? Does the location make sense for both parties? For a first date, the venue should be practical and just interesting enough that it doesn’t take the focus away from the two of you.

Being Genuinely Curious

One of the best things you can be on a first date is curious. Lots of people are so focused on the end goal that it influences every action. You miss some of the best potential topics of conversation because they don’t fit in with where you were planning for the conversation to go next.

If you’re genuinely interested in discovering who she is, you don’t have to perform some perfect version of yourself. In practice, this means actually listening for details and letting that lead the way. If she mentions she loves a certain part of London, ask what she likes about it. If she says she doesn’t usually do first dates, don’t rush past that like it’s admin. There’s probably a story there.

Don’t overdo it on The Compliments

A thoughtful, sincere compliment can set a great tone and bring two people closer. Too many compliments can make you feel, at best, like you’re being observed or analysed. At worst, like you’re being gamed.

If she looks great, then absolutely let her know. Once. You don’t need to keep circling back as if you’re worried that the first compliment didn’t land.

If you want to improve your compliment game, the best advice we can give is to get specific, focus on complimenting choices she’s made and tag on a question to turn it into a dialogue. “You look great” is one thing, but “I love the colour of your dress, it really suits you. Where did you get such good taste?”

See the difference?

It’s Not an Interview

A huge part of the fun of a first date is the spontaneity in it. Learning about someone new, telling them about you and finding where those two worlds cross over and mesh together. But some people prepare so intensely and have such a rigid blueprint that it sucks all the fun and randomness out of it.

A date needs space to grow. Maybe you spend ten minutes talking about a terrible holiday. Maybe the conversation goes from food to family to bad music taste. That’s fine. The best moments aren’t planned.

And don’t pitch yourself either. Men start stacking evidence in their favour: career, gym routine, travel history, future goals, property plans, and restaurant knowledge. A little ambition is attractive, but a full presentation is too much.

A Little Awkwardness is Okay

First dates are always a little awkward. You’re meeting someone with romantic possibilities attached, pretending it’s completely normal to sit across from each other and decide whether there’s chemistry. Of course, there may be a strange pause.

The trick is not making awkwardness the main event. If you stumble over a sentence, smile and correct yourself. If a joke doesn’t land, don’t punish the table by explaining it. If there’s a silence, take a sip, look around, and ask something simple. Most awkward moments pass quickly when nobody panics.

A realistic example: you go to compliment her outfit, and the wording comes out clumsy. Instead of overexplaining for thirty seconds, say, “That came out less smooth than I meant it to, but you really do look great.” That kind of honesty is often more charming than getting everything right.